In a recent post (Learn to Love Yourself) on another site, a wife felt that to love her husband unconditionally, she needed to love herself. Her self-criticism centered on how she thought she looked, where she “literally cringed” at her image in the mirror.
My own lovely wife has complained about her appearance, and it was always a surprise to me. I see no flaw in her. But she almost questions my eyesight. As a husband, it used to hurt when I would compliment my wife and not have her believe me when I told her she was beautiful. I often wished she could see the beauty that I see. I felt BLESSED, fortunate—even lucky!—to have her for my wife.
So I have a little question for you women:
Do you like your husband? Do you tell him? If you saw him put on one of your favorite shirts, so that he looked really sharp and quite handsome, and you complimented him—”Honey, you look great in that shirt!”—what if his face fell, he looked at the floor, and said, “I’m too short. I’m getting fat and out of shape. I wish I could look good in a really great shirt.” How would you feel? Do you want him to feel that way about himself? Were you “lying” just to make him feel better? Were you obligated to tell him that because you’re his wife? Or maybe—just maybe—he really IS handsome? If only he would see himself the same way you do!
Another question, ladies: Do you believe your husband’s compliments? Or at least accept his genuine praise?
When my wife was young, she would play the piano (at her mother’s insistence) for visitors. She demurred at her guests’ compliments: “No, I didn’t play that well—I missed a few notes!” On one occasion, her older sister told her that it wasn’t very nice for her not to graciously accept the praise, for it stole all the joy they might have had in giving it. From then on, she would reply with just a smile and a “Thank you.”
Believe each other’s compliments! Feel that love! Wives, your husband can look really good to you. You can look really good to him, too. Enjoy him enjoying you!